Kindergarten Cop

 

Picture Day 1990. This was my "going out" vest purchased from JC Penney at The Citadel shopping mall. 

Kindergarten Cop

Most psychology research suggests that children form key aspects of their personality around the age of five. One of my fondest memories at such a young and impressionable age is a trip where my grandfather took me to watch the movie “Kindergarten Cop” starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Growing-up, my mom worked very hard. She still does. My mom is a proud hair-dresser. She still does hair. Fabulously single and self-employed, my mom always did what she needed to do taking care of her two boys: myself and my older brother who is eight years older than me.

My brother and I were fortunate enough to be raised with our grandparents in the same household. As we do in real life, we’ll refer to them as Grandma and Grandpa. Grandma was an Army wife and part-time housekeeper. She loved playing Bingo and drinking Crown Royal whiskey. Did I mention she was from Louisiana? Grandpa was retired from the Army and a professional chef by trade. Grandpa was Sous-chef at the Penrose Room, a swanky restaurant at Colorado’s swankiest hotel—The Broadmoor.

As my Mom did hair throughout the week, she would save her tips. Cash. Then, at the end of the week on Sunday (because my mom worked Saturdays) we would go on our weekly excursion for entertainment. Yes, my Mom worked on Saturdays. This, because she has to work when other people are not working since that is when they have time to get their hair did. As a child, I was always surprised, and somewhat annoyed, at how many people did not understand why my mom worked on Saturdays. “Gasp! Your mom works on weekends? Yes, stoopid.” Anyway. On Sundays, we would go to the Citadel Mall in colorful Colorado Springs.

I would ride in the backseat as my mom drove through the busy traffic on Academy Blvd. The radio was always tuned to 98.9 Magic FM. Probably the first time I heard Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” was likely during one of these car rides to the mall.

Once we arrived, we first stopped by the pet store and admired the animals. Then, we walked around to different stores and through the food court. Back in the day, The Citadel had these decorative fountains in the middle of the food court. Every few minutes the fountains would slowly grow taller and taller and then quickly shrink back down. The thrill of the fountains growing was very delightful for me as a child. I was always amazed at how the tiniest sprouts would shoot-up to these tall looming pillars of aqua delight and wonder. Think: Bellagio but a lot smaller and in a 1980’s food court with lots of turquoise accents and fake plants. I’m sure it was even more impressive for my tiny five-year-old stature.

Then, we would get back in the car and drive across the street to Citadel Crossing shopping center. Yes. Quite the original title. Here, we would indulge in the one dollar priced movies. Dollar movies. Yes, we would see the last matinee because that’s what we could afford. My mom would stuff her purse with lots of snacks and strut us into the movie theater. She was not paying for movie theater snacks. Full-price movie tickets were not in the budget and neither were overpriced treats from the theater snack bar. 

After the movies, we would go back in the car and head to Peter Piper Pizza. Think: Chuck E. Cheese, but without the giant mouse and a lot more Black and brown people. Don’t be scared. It was fun! There, we would take Mom’s tip money to get game tokens to play arcade games and pinball. The pizza was tasty too!

Those were the days. Those were Sundays.

The lead-up to Sunday was, naturally, Saturday. On Saturday nights, we would watch the tv shows “Cops”, “America’s Most Wanted” and then “American Gladiators.” All in that order before going to bed. Thank you, KXRM-TV FOX 21. However, on one particular Saturday, my five-year-old equilibrium was disrupted; thrown way, way off. You see, the universe converged in such a way that:

•       Grandma: Went to play Bingo
•       Mom: Went out with friends (how dare she!)
•       Brother: Went to a sleepover (as many 13-year-olds do)
•       Grandpa: Came back from work and had to go to bed early
•       Orlando: Had to stay home

I could not understand why I was not allowed to go with my older brother. Yet, I was simply too young. My mom told me I needed to stay at home with Grandpa and go to bed. In fact, she dressed me in these ratty light blue-colored pajamas that I used to wear all the time, and put me to bed. I remember her shutting off the light and closing the bedroom door as she went out on the town. (Maybe a wedding or a night club? That's none of my business.)

Before I could fall asleep, Grandpa opened the door and turned the light on. I was dazed and confused. You know, but for a five-year-old. Grandpa told me to get my coat. I asked: “Where are we going?” “Just go get your coat and put your shoes on” he replied. I put my coat on over those ratty blue pajamas. At some point, before getting into to the car I learned where we were going. It was to the movies. At night! I was SO excited. I had only been to the movies during the day. I asked Grandpa if Pops could come. Pops was my teddy bear. Grandma bought him for me during a trip I took with her to Louisiana; Pops came from a Walgreens. They had a giant bin of black teddy bears, brown teddy bears, and white teddy bears. I picked a white bear. Foreshadowing. Anyway. Me and Pops were headed-out for our OWN night on the town—with Grandpa! Citadel Crossing, Sat-ur-day NIGHT—here we come!

We rolled-up to the Citadel Crossing. It was all lit up in purple and turquoise neon in all its glittering 1980’s glory! The movie theater was crowded. Young people were there with lots of energy. The vibe was very different than what I was accustomed to during the sleepy Sunday matinees. Grandpa, Pops, and I stood in line to buy fresh, buttery popcorn. This was full-price popcorn to accompany full-price tickets. Swanky, right? Then we went into the actual theater. Pops got his own seat (because I treat my people right). The movie was “Kindergarten Cop.” “Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.” That was my favorite line in the movie—said by a character my age—and about all I could remember of the film. 

Grandpa took me home and tucked me into bed. I slept soundly into the next day, Sunday.

Several years after starring in movies like "Kindergarten Cop" and, my personal favorite, "Terminator 2" Arnold Schwarzenegger would later serve as governor of California. Many years after that, I would move to California to continue my career in higher education. On a trip back home to Colorado, I visited Mom. She still lives in the house I grew up in. She and I were driving somewhere, I cannot recall where. I do remember telling her: “Yeah, I was watching “Entertainment Tonight” recently. They did a story on the 30^th anniversary of the movie “Kindergarten Cop.” The kids in that film are about my age now. I remember when Grandpa snuck me out of bed so we could go see that movie in the theater.” “What?” Mom replied. “I never knew that.” My mom never would have let me out of the house in those ratty blue pajamas. Apparently, both Grandpa and I were good at keeping secrets.

Grandpa 🖤

Me wearing the ratty blue pajamas. The stuffed sheep pictured was a gift from Grandpa; he would call me "Bobeep" because I always carried around that sheep. Not pictured: Pops the teddy bear.