Like Sands Through the Hourglass: Reflections on Five Years at Stanford University

 🕰️ “Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.” “Days” was one of my grandma’s favorite TV soap operas. I got hooked back in 1997-1999 starting with the “Secret Room” storyline. I would watch the show with her. Fast forward to April 2020 and the beginning of my role as an Associate Dean in Residential Education at Stanford University—at the start of the COVID-19 shutdown. Starting a new job (and essentially a new life) during this global pandemic and economic shutdown was one of the most disorienting challenges I’ve faced. Some moments flew by in a blur, while others dragged on, painfully slow. But now, five years later, I’ve grown a lot—personally and professionally. In honor of 5 years at Stanford, I am sharing 5 key lessons I’ve learned during my time here 🖐🏾:

1️⃣ Timing is everything.
People assign value to when they receive information. In large institutions, those who find out first often feel more important than those who learn later. Leadership doesn’t always control how news travels, but being mindful of when and how change is communicated can make a big difference in how news is received.

2️⃣ Everyone wears multiple hats—some fancy, some not.
There are brilliant people at Stanford doing brilliant things and there are mediocre people at Stanford doing mediocre things. Me? On any given day, I could be either brilliant or mediocre—one or the other, neither or both—this all depends on the day, and it depends on the task and who you ask. Not everything is excellent all the time and that's OK; mistakes are made and feathers are ruffled. Many people here are reconciling some element of imposter syndrome and this allows people to be very critical of others’ work; this is rooted in their own insecurity. I try to keep that in mind as I maintain relationships here.

3️⃣ Both productivity and relationships matter.
Both output and relationships are important to success. Talented people sometimes underestimate how intimidating their productivity is to others and they tend to foster their output more than their relationships. Folks who may not possess as much skill tend to focus more on their relationships, schmoozing with the right people and being nice in order to stay afloat or get ahead. Ultimately, the folks who have the most effective impact have a good balance of both skill and good relationships.

4️⃣ Bigger isn’t always better.
Bigger is not always better. Change at older, larger institutions happens slowly or not at all. Pack your patience.

5️⃣ It’s all about the money. 💰
Like any other 501 c3 non-profit, money is what makes everything happen.

Thanks to everyone who’s been part of this journey with me. Here's to growth and more lessons to come! ❤️

Originally published on LinkedIn.com - April 2025 

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